I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
