Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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