Everything about him screamed your future.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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