Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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