I want to make a zoo with you.
i think my mom watched the whole time
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
