Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
