You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
