Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
