Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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