I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
