nut hugger
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
