there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
