i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
