nut hugger
i would punch a child for taco bell
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
