You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
