My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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