that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
