***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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