Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
