Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
