Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
