we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
