i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
