didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
