Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
