I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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