how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
