Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
