She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
