its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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