this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
