what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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