It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
