College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
