I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
