found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Green mimosas i think yes
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
