how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I can't put those talents on a resume
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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