Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
All the doctor said was why
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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