I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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