Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
The Olympian is in my bed
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
