She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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