shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
