wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
