if i died would you start the facebook group?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
