i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
