if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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