wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
