I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
