Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
