I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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