Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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